


Straight Outta Hell

by booksindalibrary



Series: As If Our World Wasn't Crazy Enough (Or, Vongola Gets Caught Up in a Lot of Shit) [3]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!, 킬링 스토킹 | Killing Stalking (Webcomic)
Genre: Crack Crossover, Gay Bar, Gen, One Shot, Save Yoon Bum, Squalo is So Done, TYL characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 13:26:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10968168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booksindalibrary/pseuds/booksindalibrary
Summary: Squalo just wanted to relax, not deal with more shit.





	Straight Outta Hell

**Author's Note:**

> A few notes:
> 
> This is TYL in the KHR-verse
> 
> They're in Korea (for unexplained reasons) and most of the time is communicating in Korean, unless otherwise stated or I messed up.

Squalo cursed his shitty luck, and then decided to get drunk. Varia had off-loaded all the work onto him yet _again,_ and Xanxus was being an arsehole _yet again._ Not to mention, they were in the middle of Korea, and Varia weren't exactly fluent in Korean (save for Xanxus, but the man was a freak).

So he went to closest bar and promptly ordered three shots, uncaring of the looks people were giving him. The men – where were the women, he had to ask himself – kept approaching him, Squalo brushing each one off as politely as he could.

It took him a while to figure out he was in a gay bar. A fuckin' gay bar, he cursed, he wasn't interested in getting _laid_ or anything. He just wanted to get drunk.

“Hey,” someone said, and Squalo, sensing a _presence,_ looked. Two men, he noted vaguely, the alcohol in his system dulling his otherwise extremely capable mind. One lingered in the back, looking perpetually nervous, the other smiling amiably.

Squalo turned away again, but the blonde grabbed his arm. “Um, I have to ask you something?”

Squalo turned with a snarl. “Voi, get your hand off me, trash.”

The blonde froze for a moment, eyes wide. If Squalo didn't know any better, he would've called it 'fear'; but he had seen that look in so many killers, all he could call it was 'rage'.

“No need for that,” the blonde said, now forcing the kind tone.

“S-Sangwoo...” the timid one flinched when the blonde – Sangwoo – looked at him. Squalo couldn't see it, but whatever they're relationship was, it was definitely toxic.

“What is it?” Squalo asked, more to divert Sangwoo's attention away from his companion. Squalo's instinct flared, and his bloodlust roared. Whatever the effect of alcohol, it did nothing to tame him.

“I was just wondering if you could guide us to this hotel,” Sangwoo said, pointing at a map. “Me and my companion, Bum, are lost.”

Squalo nearly spat in his face. Koreans, he thought dazedly, have weird names, knowing full well he was insulting the entire country he was in.

Squalo, more curious than anything else to see what this Sangwoo was planning, agreed.

* * *

As it turned out, Sangwoo was a murderous arsehole straight out of hell. Strangulation was his fad or something, and as soon as the rope was tightened around the swordsman's neck, he allowed his Flames to flare and twisted his whole body around, using his prosthetic hand to create wriggle room. His Rain Flames trickled into his assailant's limbs, weakening him.

Whatever the other one, Bum or whatever, was doing, it certainly wasn't helping Squalo. The swordsman, cursing the fact he actually had no sword _with_ him (some assassin he was), wondered how the fuck he would get out of this-

And a jarring blow, before a familiar, “Squ-chan~” sang out. Oh, not Lussuria of all people, Squalo silently complained, hearing the soft hiss of knives and Bel's laugh.

The rope around his neck slackened and fell away, and Squalo straightened himself, again cursing how unprepared he was.

“Captain, I'm going to kill him,” Belphegor warned, knives spreading out around him. Bel hadn't killed in a while, and Squalo, rubbing his neck, waved a hand at him to continue.

“S-Sangwoo,” Bum whispered, and Sangwoo fell in streaks of blood and curses. He fell backwards, staring at the (admittedly strange) group that had gathered.

“Voi! I thought I said I wanted to be alone-”

“Don't be like that, Squ-chan, you know you owe us.”

“Don't call me Squ-chan-”

“The boss is calling,” another butted in, the umbrellas on his back making him look...weird? But then again, Bum couldn't talk.

“Shishi, that was fun,” the one with the fringe smirked, covered in blood splatters and seeming to consider Bum for a moment.

“Voi! Then let's get out of this god-awful place, I'm sick of-” and he dissolved into a foreign language. Bum clamped his hands on his legs, unable to stop shaking. The one with the sunglasses placed a hand on his cheek and cooed, “Who is this?”

Bum, for no apparent reason, felt a shudder go down his spine.

* * *

Bum had no good reason to _not_ accompany “Luss-nee, call me Luss-nee,” but after seeing them kill Sangwoo like nothing (Sangwoo being insanely strong and terrifying), this probably wasn't a good idea.

“It'll be fun,” Lussuria sang for the millionth time, standing over Bum. None of them had moved from the alley they were in, the long-haired man getting more and more impatient.

“ _Tch._ We gotta go, boss is calling.” He tapped his foot agreesively, flicking hair out of his face.

“Come on,” Luss said, picking up Bum like a sack of potatoes and slinging him across his shoulder. “We're going to Italy~”

“Shitty shark.” A harsh voice, in a language Bum didn't know.

Oh great, another weirdo showed up; Bum was unable to see who it was, but apparently he was important, as everyone around him stiffened.

“What, shitty boss?” Squalo barked out, unconsiously straightening.

The man glared at everyone, and then looked contemptuously at the body on the ground. “Hurry the fuck up, trash.”

Bum clapped his hands over his mouth, trying his best not to whimper. _Don't cry, don't cry, don't panic,_ he told himself, body shaking again. _Ah, don't panic, don't cross the line, don't panic, no noise, don't-_

A groan came from the corpse, and Bum froze. “S-Sorry, Sangwoo, I'm sorry, I didn't-”

“He's not dead?” Lussuria was surprised, looking at Bel speculatively. “Huh. You messed up.”

“The prince doesn't _mess_ up,” the so-called prince snapped, baring his teeth. “Are you kidding me? How is he alive?”

“I won't cross the line, I promise,” Bum babbled. “So don't-”

“Shut up, trash,” the man with red eyes ordered, pulling out a gun and firing. The sound shocked Bum into silence, who gaped at the flash of yellow and the way Sangwoo had been... _blown away?_

“S-Sangwoo?” Bum whimpered, eyes wide. “Um, I still love you?”

His breaths came in gasps. “Shishi, he's messed up,” the prince said.

“Poor boy,” Lussuria said sympathetically. A pat on his back, and Bum froze, unable to comprehend the mayhem.

“Ah, Sangwoo?”

“Voi! Let's get going then, Lussuria's got his new pet.”

And Bum wondered if these freaks were any better, or any less hellish.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I had to get it out of my system.


End file.
